The sky just seemed so endless tonight, and I feel so small
I used to think of endless possibilities, and reaching for those stars
But tonight I just want to hold someone, have them hold me

But wait! There’s more. It’s amazing what a shower and shave can do. I feel renewed, whole again. I’d been waiting for too long for something to happen, it’s a phase I go through, I pray to God that I am through. I feel like I’m waking up in the middle of a mess left by my previous self, and it’s time to clean up. I feel like breaking something, running all night, throwing verse like a rapper, or starting a fight. I know that was shameless, depraved, dumb and heinous. I’d like to be like them, and someday with any luck, I’ll feel like a rapper, and simply not give a fuck.

I credit my desire to write songs to the fact that my laptop is sitting in front of me. Seem odd? Well the power supply is 3 hours away, and it’s my main source of music. My desktop is dysfunctional and has no sound card. So you can imagine the sounds in my head, or wait, maybe you can’t.

Also, oddly, for some reason, credit a DVD or something, I’ve been running words through my head, seeing which ones rhyme, which ones sound like only a girl with an imaginary friend would use in poetry. I talk to myself in the car a lot, and recently every time I come upon a word I like, I sit there trying to rhyme with it. Well, maybe I’m both that girl and her imaginary friend, who knows. Maybe I’ll give myself a chemical burn on the hand and find out. It’s only when you’ve lost everything . . .

It’s just me and a cheese block, what a night. I don’t feel like it, but I’ll study anyway, time to do something constructive with my life.