Aug 8, 2003

So, the summer draws to a close, and I’m no nearer the life altering realization than when I started. Every time a new season comes around, I have these hopes that through it all, I’ll become the self-assured adult with strong sense of identity that I’ve always wanted to be. Well, maybe I’ll quit smoking and call it good, maybe that’s something personally significant.

I’ve found out a lot more about others though, I’ll grant that, and for it I’m glad, especially the young lady I’m dating. Everyday I learn something new about people, and some nuance is picked up that wasn’t before known. I’ve learned a bit about how love works, and how it doesn’t. I’ve learned how important honesty is. I’m always learning how important honesty is. It’s just that I honestly still don’t know exactly what I’m doing, supposed to be doing, and how to get from here to there. I know it’s in God’s hands, why can’t I leave it there? I’m not saying that to sound like a holy someone asking a rhetorical question, I’m serious, Why can’t I leave well enough alone in my own life?

I’ll tell you this much, I’m sleeping, and I’m praying, for the first time, that my laundry does shrink in the dryer. I know I need to work out, but seriously, why can’t I find a low cost shirt that has less X’s than the red-light district? Okay, I’m tired, and I’ll shut up now.

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