An incredible feeling of peace and release has come over me since last night. I was headed to bed early, waiting next to my phone for someone precious to call me, and I couldn’t quite drift off to sleep. It was a thought in the back of my head that I should read the Bible. Not so much an obligation, but just somehow that it needed to be done, and right then. The ribbon in my New Testament was set at Colossians, so I started there.

I still haven’t really read much recently, I’ve picked it up a few times, and I’ve really been talking with God about my life, asking forgiveness, asking direction, just asking Him to draw me close again. This book was interesting, and it was just what I needed to read right now. It really hit me this time reading it that Paul himself wrote it by hand, rather than having anyone else write it down for him. As I was reading through, it seemed for the first time in a long time like it was actually about life, even my life, and not just a bunch of old dead people.

The most amazing thing it said, at least in how it relates to my life right now, was in chapter two, verses twenty through twenty three. It talks about moral laws and says, “If you have died with Christ to the elementary principles of the world, why, as if you were living in the world, do you submit yourself to decrees, such as, ‘Do not handle, do not taste, do not touch!’ (which all refer to things destined to perish with use), in accordance with the commandments and teachings of men? These are matters which have, to be sure, the appearance of wisdom in self-made religion and self-abasement and severe treatment of the body, but are of no value against fleshly indulgence.”

This is exactly where I’m at. I’m constantly trying to figure out what I can do to keep in a “holy” state of mind. Lust, pride, envy, even sloth continue to plague my mind from time to time, and every time I’m reminded by God that I’ve failed to focus on Him, I feel like next time all I need is to just….and it never works. The answer is not in plans or procedures, perfectly thought out ways of avoiding temptation, the answer is in chapter three verse two, “Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.”

I know it sounds like a Sunday school lesson, and it’s obvious, but it really spoke to me. After leaving it alone for so long, I’m surprised by how much I need it. It’s amazing, several times today I’ve actually wanted to read the Bible, and couldn’t because I’d left it at home. Many times before I simply have read because I felt I had to, and then moved on to the book I really wanted to read, whatever it was at the time.

I don’t know what all this sounds like, probably puffed up and proud, but I’m not. I’m coming along very slowly, and feel like the backward child that He continuously has to remind to simply trust and stay focused on Him. Maybe it sounds naïve, perhaps I sound like Pollyanna. All I know is He’s still working on me, just wanted to thank Him and let you all know.

I really want to start writing more, and have some ideas I’d like criticism on. I’m adding a permanent link to my other blog which has remained abandoned for some time. Check it out if you have the time, and by the way, I prefer negative criticism, especially on my fiction.