Tonight I write to remember. I want to have this post saved and printed out in a huge font so that someday, when my eyesight is poor, I can read it and remember this day. I’ll do this, not because anything momentous happened, but precisely because nothing did. No doubt when I reach middle age, or perhaps retirement, like so many others, I’ll wish I was 19 again, or that I’d just turned 21, because those were the good old days. That was back when I _____, chased women, drove a fast car, did drugs in trendy clubs, fill in the blank. I guess I figure I’ll still have the same bizarre yet vivid imagination that I have right now, but much poorer memory.

I did nothing of consequence today. My day at work was spent playing with scatter diagrams, which made me feel like a little kid playing connect the dots, but with serious grown up faces and a salary. I ate at my desk, because I don’t take lunch breaks anymore, and I rode the train home, sampling the fine mix of Dallas’ finest odors and personalities. I had eaten some pasta with this garlic and something strong sauce for lunch, so I fit right in.

When I got home I decided to work out, despite my strong inclination not to, to keep from breaking such a young habit. After lifting weights and running about two miles, I smoked a cigarette and bought some pants. Now I’m sitting here being multi-cultural, eating my chips and salsa with stir-fry and rice. Hooray! On a positive note, my girlfriend has still not discovered that she’s too good for me. I’ve got my fingers crossed, hoping she never does.

That’s it! No drugs, sex, and very little rock and roll. A smoke and a shopping spree. Take heart, me you old fart, your life never was an MTV movie.