tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39689052011-07-29T00:36:51.730-05:00THE MISFIRING NEURONLesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.comBlogger1251100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-81986712009889248332010-10-13T21:45:00.002-05:002010-10-13T22:11:07.158-05:00First day at the office was wonderful. It's probably just due to the fact that everything is different. I love the more modern looking office. I actually, for now, enjoy the nicer dress code. I love the opportunity to learn a lot in a short time frame, and a lack of distractions in the way.We haven't quite worked out all the Feng Shui of the office Josh and I share. I haven't figured out howLesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-28720792001951166912010-10-12T22:07:00.003-05:002010-10-12T22:30:32.658-05:00Today I had an encounter with greatness. Not a life altering one, not God style greatness, just pragmatic and capitalistic greatness. I called Apple technical support.I've only had my Macbook Pro for about 1 month now, and for the first 3 weeks, it functioned flawlessly, as I had hoped. As I sit and type on it from home, it continues to amaze me in its simple, elegant functionality and beauty.Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-52034855083696354832010-10-02T13:56:00.005-05:002010-10-05T21:53:25.588-05:00We went to see The Social Network this weekend with the 4's and Matty. This movie got me thinking, and reading, about the value of ideas. Jeff Atwood's post regarding this is one of my favorites. I feel like I agree, and although I probably suffer from at least a bit of the American obsession with coming up with "the next big idea", I think my priority right now needs to be on perfecting my Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-39246583780777057802010-09-29T18:56:00.003-05:002010-10-01T11:16:42.026-05:00So this week I've started the transition from the only job I've had since graduation to my first full time developer position. My job with MTSI has been awesome, and I've really enjoyed working with such a large group of friends, with flexibility and low stress for a majority of my stay.What I feel has been missing has been challenge and accountability. While I love the fact that my input Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-46824106506765877862010-09-23T22:00:00.002-05:002010-09-23T22:47:17.928-05:00Stack overflow had the first piece of the puzzle, one I'm still putting together one piece at a time. 32 bit to 64 bit conversion is proving to be quite difficult, especially since I was heavily relying on the class we downloaded to enumerate and connect to our HID. It's time spent learning, and working on code, which I always appreciate.I was also approached today, in regards to one of my Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-77720128738737762482010-09-22T19:20:00.002-05:002010-09-22T19:39:40.716-05:00A lot is happening, and yet there's a lot of waiting. Today was more of the same. I confirmed today that the USB panic button software is not working on 64-bit Windows, which is becoming a larger share of our clients with Windows 7, especially since most of our clients skipped Vista altogether. Late in the day I found a Stackoverflow question that seems to have the exact answer I need, though Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-15591728674574684382010-09-20T22:10:00.002-05:002010-09-20T22:21:12.809-05:00Ever since having Jacob, I've noticed I'm about a million times more sensitive to all the smarmy moments in movies and shows involving kids. Brooke and I have both noticed this, all the more ridiculous in the case of District 9, where the involved father and son were aliens. All the same, nearly cried. Don't remember being emotional about The Patriot until I saw it on tv again recently. His Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-35145081918681853882010-09-19T09:49:00.002-05:002010-09-19T10:05:17.029-05:00Months later, though I love my iPad, I have decided that I certainly can do some real work on the iPad, have had opportunity on a business trip to do so, and also that I most definitely do not want to. So I bought a MacBook Pro, with the full intent of using it primarily for .NET development.As with many of my stubborn ideas, this one also brings up quite a few questions, such as why on earth Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-79787725226042113652010-04-16T15:29:00.003-05:002010-04-16T15:45:20.548-05:00The more I work with the iPad, the more I'm impressed with it's capabilities. I've installed plants vs zombies, and I think it shows incredible promise as a gaming platform (all the better because Brooke is more addicted than me), and sketchpad HD shows it's also got great potential as an artistic tool, and could do wonders with basic photo editing and diagramming. Right now I'm contemplating Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-48365185562362726132010-04-12T21:59:00.002-05:002010-04-12T22:08:34.018-05:00New post from the iPad, my first attempt to type anything on the touch screen. It's annoying to have to change menus just to put in an apostrophe, but with the intelligent spell correction, it's not that hard to type much faster than on my iPod.To say that my motivations for getting the iPad were entirely practical would be a bit of a stretch, but so far I'm quite impressed with the Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-92115856087256884382009-10-25T22:02:00.003-05:002009-10-25T22:25:30.197-05:00Linux changed my life todayI'm not even joking. This weekend was full of confusing thoughts and life evaluations. I went to work on a project with my life group (church people) to help renovate a room for an elderly couple who were friends with one of the newer members of our group. The project took about 15 hours, was one of the most grueling experiences of my life, and ended up being a Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-10456022473871958252009-10-19T21:41:00.002-05:002009-10-19T21:56:15.812-05:00Coders At Work by Peter SeibelThis is an absolutely amazing book. I'm only about 100 pages in, and I'm hooked. It's a collection of interviews with 15 high profile programmers in recent history, and it's motivation to become a better programmer, and inspiration on the things I want my son to see and experience growing up. It's a great history lesson to hear how some of the great contributors Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-28345169770671100842009-05-22T10:29:00.005-05:002009-05-22T12:13:20.878-05:00It feels so good to finally finish the car project. When there's an overall feeling that life is out of your control, aided by a lawn that has grown to epic proportions while your garage looks like a car bomb went off, you're low on sleep and have a baby who just learned that crying beats sleeping 9 out of 10 times in a recent baby survey, just getting to check one thing off feels like maybe it Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-37238834806453114782009-05-20T09:46:00.003-05:002009-05-20T09:57:26.049-05:00The hard part is done! I took my time and used some silicone gasket maker stuff to put the rear housing onto the new transmission, greased all the appropriate bearings and surfaces, and figured why not try putting the thing up in there by myself.So I got out my floor jack, jack stands, and proceeded for nearly an hour to do it the half-right way (I'm supposing here the right way is to use a Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-6719861882898500162009-05-19T08:10:00.003-05:002009-05-19T08:31:50.056-05:00After missing several autocross events due to having a baby and all that goes with it, I went ahead and put my new Dunlop Star Shines on in anticipation of the next event. This was a good thing as I had passed the wear bars and then some on all four of my Azenis, and inspection is due this month. On the way home I noticed some faint clicking sounds, leading me to believe the guy who put the Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-53183622141189949872009-05-15T13:59:00.005-05:002009-05-15T16:35:01.550-05:00In an attempt to write more, and in so doing perhaps become better at it, I'm trying my hand at writing using my new toy, the iPod touch. I don't like the fact that I can't very easily add pictures since the iPod doesn't have a camera, but now that I've figured out that the iPod guesses what you're typing even when you fat finger it, I'm compelled to try writing on it.I've always loved gadgets Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-42832125872383388922009-01-22T22:01:00.002-06:002009-01-22T22:16:09.595-06:00Today was rather boring, which sounds bad to me right now because I feel like I should have somehow seized some opportunity and made it awesome. I had to wake up at like 4 to drive in to Connecticut to fly to Baltimore to drive to Hanover, PA. Which was all done by like 11 this morning, but like a loser, I hung out at a Starbucks in a mall fielding phone calls from work, and then took a nap at Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-35539742826994626932008-10-22T20:51:00.006-05:002008-10-22T21:54:07.992-05:00Lafayette was everything I'd hoped it'd be and more, which isn't saying much since I expected a po-dunk Louisiana town. The hotel was more of a disappointment than I'd expected, looking like something out of a horror movie, but with all the friendliness and charm of middle America.I enjoyed an early dinner thanks to the generosity of my boss sending me in early to enjoy the Cajun cuisine, and I Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-30524817762610271862008-10-21T08:19:00.003-05:002008-10-21T10:48:30.268-05:00Lest there every be any confusion, I love dogs. I think I've always loved dogs, or at least always felt an affinity for them, and after bringing Dexter home, interacting with all the other dogs at the dog park, and seeing my wife become a dog lover, too, it's become part of who I am. We now watch every dog show that comes on TV, we recently made a trip to Tyler and stayed longer so we could go Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-4324564620396659212008-10-20T08:06:00.011-05:002008-10-20T11:02:08.760-05:00This weekend we had an amazing time, thanks largely to the efforts of Joy, Jackie, and Emily the party planners, as well as their co-operative husbands. Brooke's 30th, and last publicly acknowledged birthday until further notice, was a surprise vampire themed party, which she loved.There were elaborate and tasty foods, dancing with reckless abandon, and at one point a pit bull roaming the Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-25687884791656383062008-10-18T18:44:00.003-05:002008-10-18T19:14:23.990-05:00There's a sick part of me that wants to see our economic system fall right now. I'm laying that out at the beginning, because it's the basic point of rambling to follow. To clarify, I know the bad things that would come with this fall, and I don't desire those. Starvation in lower economic nations, riots and wars coming along too. Unemployment in nations like our own, with families having to Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-73756176414995046732008-10-13T08:22:00.004-05:002008-10-13T21:01:31.579-05:00Thoughts on FatherhoodThis weekend was rather eventful, usually leaving me more tired Monday morning than Friday afternoon, however this was really quite fun and relaxing. I got to see my precious little boy in more detail than I would have ever imagined!He's sticking his little hand in his mouth here, and holding relatively still. We got to spend well over an hour with Brooke's cousin Sunni Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-14101719130011479982008-10-01T10:06:00.003-05:002008-10-01T10:11:01.972-05:00A friend asked me what I thought of the IRS stance on church involvement, and also whether Biblical values should be primary criteria in selecting a candidate. There is a link to the video that promted the question, and below it is my response.ADF’s Pulpit InitiativeGood questions. I don't know how far the IRS goes, but on its website it states:In addition, it may not be an action organization,Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-73847949434886727882008-08-01T14:18:00.001-05:002008-08-01T14:18:51.204-05:00My Letter to Sam JohnsonI want to express to you my disappointment in your recent yea vote on H.R. 4040. I understand that there is a lot of public fear regarding lead in children's toys, however this measure took that fear and used it to irresponsibly increase spending.As a republican I'm committed to the concept of limiting government. Equally as important is the idea of balancing our Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-72919910516279021572008-08-01T08:15:00.002-05:002008-08-01T08:21:57.331-05:00Why we should fortify our houseMayor's Dogs Killed over mistaken weedThere may not be much that can be done to prevent it, but I can only envision how irate I'd be if some worked up cops showed up at my house and shot my dog because they thought some package of government(our new God)-forsaken weed was somehow connected to me. Then imagine them holding you in your underwear next to your mother Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-58955794790382217812008-07-30T20:00:00.002-05:002008-07-30T20:58:42.188-05:00After several years and several hundred dollars of fees paid, I've decided to revert back to free, which is here, where I started. It's rather interesting to again see all the old posts, and to look at who I've been. I don't think I'm nearly as nostalgic about my own past as I have been. I'm pretty excited about the future, about my life with Brooke, in a house, with Dexter, brewing beer, Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-1065761118837451342003-10-09T23:45:00.000-05:002008-06-11T15:07:32.556-05:00I was looking through my archives today and a stunning realization hit me, as they are often prone to do, especially as the night wears on. The realization was that I used to write! I used to write every other day or so. That’s a crazy thought. What’s also interesting is that my writing took a serious nose dive in February. Hmm. Perhaps I found something much more worthwhile.
Tonight I am Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-1065147605011107562003-10-02T21:20:00.000-05:002008-06-11T15:07:32.572-05:00Well, I had big plans for this evening, and I was in a stellar mood. I was, 30 minutes ago. I had just returned from the gym, a plus. I had only smoked one cigarette today, not bad. I was alone in the house, nobody to yell at or be yelled at by, not that this happens often, but it’s still a plus. I was investigating web space providers to start up a new website and blog, to write more, and Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-1064373337973252742003-09-23T22:15:00.000-05:002008-06-11T15:07:32.582-05:00Tonight I write to remember. I want to have this post saved and printed out in a huge font so that someday, when my eyesight is poor, I can read it and remember this day. I’ll do this, not because anything momentous happened, but precisely because nothing did. No doubt when I reach middle age, or perhaps retirement, like so many others, I’ll wish I was 19 again, or that I’d just turned 21, Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-1063987608381851622003-09-19T11:06:00.000-05:002008-06-11T15:07:32.593-05:00Last night was facinating. After work, I worked out despite my desire not to, which was good, and to my great pleasure I’m slowly increasing the distance I run and the weight I lift. It always seems to me that the first couple weeks getting back into exercise are the most rewarding. I always seem to have deteriorated substantially, and start out not being able to lift much of anything, and Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-1063857824860861652003-09-17T23:03:00.000-05:002008-06-11T15:07:32.611-05:00“When I say goodbye to Cynthia Breazeal [scientist at MIT’s Artificial Intelligence Laboratory], she tells me I should go to Japan, where robots are made to look more life-like, and people are less worried about them usurping human faculties. At Waseda University in Tokyo, she says, there is a robot that is truly amazing: it plays the flute. She doesn’t seem to realize that a French inventor Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-1063339699844989392003-09-11T23:08:00.000-05:002008-06-11T15:07:32.628-05:00I’m finally typing again on my laptop, which makes me happy. I had forgotten what a connection I had made with this machine, though it was created by the evil HP demons, and I do feel rather geeky thinking I have an attachment to a computer. I’ve missed writing my thoughts down while on the train, since the thing jerks back and forth so much it blurs my handwriting. The seats are also so Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-1062180203210217422003-08-29T13:03:00.000-05:002008-06-11T15:07:32.637-05:00I wrote this and sent it to the CEO of HP, or so the website would have you believe. I wrote it more for the purpose of venting my frustration, and it worked for that. Here it is for your viewing pleasure.
"Frustration is common when dealing with computers, however your technical support team lives by the concept of the right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing. I have called about 4Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-1062042620989394252003-08-27T22:50:00.000-05:002008-06-11T15:07:32.647-05:00It seems a shame that profundity and eloquence tend to spring from either depression or drug use, and neither of these is really what I want. I’m perfectly happy right now, at least I think I am, and it seems I have absolutely nothing to say. I listen to the troubles of my friends, and all I can think of to say is, I wish I could give you some of my happiness. Life is a roller-coaster, so I Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-1061953264503841342003-08-26T22:01:00.000-05:002008-06-11T15:07:32.656-05:00Life as an intern is some funny stuff. As it turns out, nobody intends to tell me what I’m supposed to do. This is good in that I get to do pretty much whatever I want. This is bad in that they still have a level of expectation, so I need to do things that they want done, without the luxury of being told anything about how to accomplish them, or even who to ask for help. I’m given access to Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-1061009380615646432003-08-15T23:49:00.000-05:002008-06-11T15:07:32.669-05:00For the first time in about 15 years, I’m not going to be going to school in the fall. I knew this would happen eventually, and I knew it was going to be soon, I was just hoping I would have a degree when it did. The deal is, SBC has offered to extend my employment through the fall. The project they want me to work on is business requirement documentation, and I’ll be working with the project Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-1060319389454862142003-08-08T00:09:00.000-05:002008-06-11T15:07:32.679-05:00So, the summer draws to a close, and I’m no nearer the life altering realization than when I started. Every time a new season comes around, I have these hopes that through it all, I’ll become the self-assured adult with strong sense of identity that I’ve always wanted to be. Well, maybe I’ll quit smoking and call it good, maybe that’s something personally significant.
I’ve found out a lot Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-1060052565405308022003-08-04T22:02:00.000-05:002008-06-11T15:07:32.688-05:00Well, it’s good to be free, if only partially. Tonight I can lay aside my little audio amplifier friend and not think about him for the rest of my life, if I so choose. I believe it went well, my project functioned about as well as anybody else’s. Nobody really knew what they were doing, and God blessed my efforts, so I guess I’ll be passing. This means I got home in time to sleep, and that Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-1059452492502632642003-07-28T23:21:00.000-05:002008-06-11T15:07:32.698-05:00Here I am, confused as hell
And I'm tired too, and it's just as well
Sleep keeps me from thinking, of anything at all
Running full speed to dead ends, my head bashing life's wall
Sometimes I don't know just what I'm to do
I suppose that you might . . . well good for you
At least I'm striving, and I really am trying . . .
No wait, I'm just lying, I selfishly choose
Between you and me, and Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-1057810571784285792003-07-09T23:16:00.000-05:002008-06-11T15:07:32.728-05:00An incredible feeling of peace and release has come over me since last night. I was headed to bed early, waiting next to my phone for someone precious to call me, and I couldn’t quite drift off to sleep. It was a thought in the back of my head that I should read the Bible. Not so much an obligation, but just somehow that it needed to be done, and right then. The ribbon in my New Testament wasLesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-1057719734197674112003-07-08T22:02:00.000-05:002008-06-11T15:07:32.742-05:00I’d like to write more often, but it seems I’m already biting off more than I can chew. Between working and studying I drive to Longview. I’m still trying to find where sleep fits into all this. Strange things happen when you’re sleep deprived, like waking up from a nap to hear your father nagging you to get more sleep. Stranger yet are the rhythms your body gets into. I can be completely Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-1056686255127333182003-06-26T22:57:00.000-05:002008-06-11T15:07:32.752-05:00Balance is something hard to find in my life, when I so value extremes as to eclipse any sense of it. Longing and patience in the relationship with the woman I love. Financial planning and reliance upon God to meet my needs. Self expression and humility mixed with tact. These things are difficult to pursue because they’re all good, but each requires the check provided by its pair to be what Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-1056630054645117532003-06-26T07:20:00.000-05:002008-06-11T15:07:32.774-05:00
Written last night around midnight
I don’t seem to learn very quickly. I found myself in a funky mood tonight, and there’s several reasons for that. I’m sleep deprived, and this is a major factor. I shouldn’t trust any of my emotions when I’m running on about 4 hours or less per night. I misinterpret my own actions, my own feelings, other people’s words, I should barely be allowed to speak Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-955350182003-06-10T23:07:00.000-05:002008-06-11T15:07:32.786-05:00So, now that I’ve waited another year or so since writing last, I suppose it’d feel good to throw some more random thoughts out on the water and let them sail off on the online sea.
I’m tired of selling advertising over the phone, and it’s been less than a week. I’m trying to convince the companies I call to buy advertising in an African American newspaper. I explain to them the value of Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-949268082003-05-27T00:08:00.000-05:002008-06-11T15:07:32.796-05:00A lot of guys I know, I’d say most, and usually while they’re not with a girl, have taken the time to think about what they want in a girl. There are qualities of character that some girls have, and others do not. Some qualities are more important than others, but usually there are some that cannot be missing from someone that you intend to spend your life with. Sometimes, in coming up with Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-946583772003-05-20T19:09:00.000-05:002008-06-11T15:07:32.805-05:00Written on 5/16 at around 5 p.m.
Reading blogs is a funny way to understand someone’s life. I just called Dan on the phone, wondered if he was a bit down the way he was talking. I haven’t been reading blogs for a few days, so I didn’t know what a number of you all may. I’ve been busy, too busy to write, too busy to read? Obviously I need to change some priorities. Now I've got a bit of a Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-942482812003-05-13T00:39:00.000-05:002008-06-11T15:07:32.851-05:00Breathing deeply the fragrance of ammonia and bleach, I need a break to collect and put down my thoughts. Cleaning is a funny ritual for me. I accept unusual amounts of hideous debris to collect on me as I scrub and wipe the place I live. I feel as though I can take it, as though I’m required to take the dirt upon myself before it can truly be gone. Credit some misguided messiah complex or Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-939143832003-05-07T02:33:00.000-05:002008-06-11T15:07:32.862-05:00First, I had a post written about friends, best friends, and family, but I lost it, credit my use of Blogger here. Anyway, I’m in a superb mood right now, I love evening phone calls, and I love free minutes after 9. To the group, I’ve got the tickets, and I’m sorry, they’re in the covered seating, but they’re not first section. I’m still excited about the concert though, hope you all are too.
Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-939118942003-05-07T01:12:00.000-05:002008-06-11T15:07:32.870-05:00
Written on 4/16 at around 9 p.m.
So, I’m at Starbucks now, feeling like I’m where I belong again. It’s good recognizing your own life. As good as it is to be ecstatic about newfound love, it’s nice to remember where you’ve come from, and not feel depressed about it. I like my life just fine, I actually am okay alone. I remember writing down, and being fairly honest with myself in saying I Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-929241442003-04-20T02:25:00.000-05:002008-06-11T15:07:32.878-05:00Have you ever enjoyed re-heated food so much that you wonder why you tried eating it after only cooking it once? Lasagna is one of these mysteries. Through many experiments, and by many third party accounts, I’ve come to the conclusion that lasagna continues tasting better every time you re-heat it. This is not my theory, it was told to me by a friend, but I can’t disagree. The burger I just Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-927510492003-04-16T20:55:00.000-05:002008-08-01T09:27:06.644-05:00Funny day, focus returns. My life begins to reshape itself into what I always knew it was, but got sidetracked. A dose of reality brings about clarity of thought and mind, reminds me who I am.
Amongst other things, a good friend of mine is having his life turned upside down in the worst way possible, so he had to leave school to deal with it. I’ve been told a couple of my other close friends Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-926313732003-04-15T00:05:00.000-05:002008-08-01T09:27:06.652-05:00I remember when I used to write happy blogs. That was cool, and now that I’m actually happy again, with a need to express myself, I’m going to write a blog entry when I should be writing several lab reports. I’m still writing those things, don’t get me wrong, but first things first.
Funny things about today:
1. The people I work with at the newspaper saw my tattoo
2. My mother saw my tattoo
Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-925976272003-04-14T13:39:00.000-05:002008-08-01T09:27:06.659-05:00The mask comes off . . .
“For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow”
-Ecclesiastes 1:18
“I am still seeking but have not found. I have found one man among a thousand, but I have not found a woman among all these”
-Ecclesiastes 7:28
In situations that face you with your powerlessness, there is this momentous decision you can make, and in your own life,Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-924559742003-04-11T18:02:00.000-05:002008-08-01T09:27:06.669-05:00Quick thought: I’m driving on my way to Longview, best friends to see, and I noticed an abuse of my tax dollars that kinda upset me. Road signs are meant to help you drive safer, regulate traffic, noble causes. I rarely pay attention to these signs because I’m a bad driver, but today I noticed one and wondered. Textured Pavement Ahead. What the hell do I care? Should I quick pull over and Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-923939372003-04-10T19:22:00.000-05:002008-08-01T09:27:06.686-05:00So I guess blogs still exist. I started reading some of your posts today, all of you. You write so well, I miss hearing your thoughts, I’ve just been so distracted. I’m not promising to get back to writing or reading, though I’d like to. I’m not promising I know anything. I just know what I need to do, and that’s the greatest thing in the world after so much uncertainty.
So life isn’t what Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-919686642003-04-04T01:30:00.000-06:002008-08-01T09:27:06.693-05:00“I went to a shrink to analyze my dreams.
She says it’s lack of sex that’s bringing me down.” - Basketcase, Greenday
Today marks my 10 year anniversary of not posting, suppose it’s time to return, for the sake of my own sanity.
Things change so fast. Buddy is now over three feet long now, when did he grow so much? My semester is nearly over, time to register for another. I keep Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-916601792003-03-30T13:11:00.000-06:002008-08-01T09:27:06.697-05:00Yesterday was more than I thought I could take. I’ve been filled with more than I’ll likely ever be able to work out, and it was so
good. My newfound dear friend took me through her home town, retelling parts of her life. Floods of emotion swept over me, I was silent. To go so quickly through someone’s life, someone you care about and want to know everything about is tough. I don't want to Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-914596572003-03-26T22:59:00.000-06:002008-08-01T09:27:06.707-05:00The sky just seemed so endless tonight, and I feel so small
I used to think of endless possibilities, and reaching for those stars
But tonight I just want to hold someone, have them hold me
But wait! There’s more. It’s amazing what a shower and shave can do. I feel renewed, whole again. I’d been waiting for too long for something to happen, it’s a phase I go through, I pray to God that I am Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-913969722003-03-26T00:42:00.000-06:002008-08-01T09:27:06.747-05:00
It feels like New Years today, much to be thankful for, much to resolve. It feels like the past month has encompassed a year, and though I may not have grown, I have undoubtedly lived.
I’m happy because Buddy, my snake, returned to me last night, wrapping himself around my leg while I was asleep at around 4 a.m. My dad got a job, I got a high F on my Electronics II test, allowing me more Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-910878242003-03-20T17:18:00.000-06:002008-08-01T09:27:06.771-05:00“Maybe someday I won’t be so lonely
And I’ll walk on water, heh, every chance I get.”
Time and Time Again, Counting Crows
A friend of mine has limited me to 3 cigarettes a day, I promised.
I smoke each one like it’s a joint.
My whole week has passed in a smoky haze,
And like a cloud it passes without a trace.
I’m off to dinner with my brother, hope to help him see
Give him a few tips on how not Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-909809632003-03-19T03:03:00.000-06:002008-08-01T09:27:06.785-05:00The other day I listened to a woman describing how men, or a particular man in this case, would penny pinch and worry about money, yet spend a great deal of money on their car stereo. That contains a ton of issues I won’t touch right now, but let me tell you why the car stereo issue is so crucial, and needs clarification.
For me, and I believe for others, the car, stereo and all, is our Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-909756192003-03-19T00:20:00.000-06:002008-08-01T09:27:06.797-05:00
Some quick items for your attention:
I've removed Dan and Bethany's links, but only temporarily as neither has posted. If either posts two posts on separate days, but within the same month, I'll add them again. If you haven't read through their archives, I'd recommend it, especially Bethany's.
Check out either Dan or Elliot's blogs, the link to the warning signs is hilarious.Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-909566122003-03-18T18:27:00.000-06:002008-08-01T09:27:06.807-05:00Two things I want, but in one word
For God to cleave me, into two
Rend selfish self from redeemed soul
And make me pleasing unto to You
The second thing, and next in line
I want to cleave myself, in time
To someone who, Lord, longs for thee
Would love You first, and marry me
I woke up this morning thinking about that word, like so many high dollar words that float through my head while Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-908968842003-03-17T21:07:00.000-06:002008-08-01T09:27:06.817-05:00"I'm your dream, make you real
I'm your eyes when you must steal
I'm your pain when you can't feel
sad but true
I'm your truth, telling lies
I'm your reasoned alibis
I'm inside open your eyes
I'm you." - Sad But True, Metallica
How can I live divided like this? Every thought is countered and contested, I have no peace. I’m always having to explain myself to some imaginary me. My emotions Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-908654422003-03-17T11:45:00.000-06:002008-08-01T09:27:06.823-05:00
My weekend? Zero to sixty my friend, in a heartbeat.
So much, and so little.
Anticipation, expectation, solemn realization
It was intoxicating
It was also very sobering
There should be no disappointment
I got to see her smile, hear her laugh
And with the greatest gentleness I’ve ever known
I felt her return to me my heart, unbroken
My desire no longer for her, now for her happiness
Things Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-906992292003-03-14T02:43:00.000-06:002008-08-01T09:27:06.830-05:00"If you could only have seen yourself tonight out there in the moonlight…
You might then have understood why I was so speechless. I was breathless."
I’m in Longview now, and thank you God, I’ve been waiting for what seems like forever. I spent some quality time waiting for a freight train, eyes closed, savoring the night air, air so full of all that has happened. A lingering scent.., so Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-906400822003-03-13T03:08:00.000-06:002008-08-01T09:27:06.838-05:00Things I enjoy about being male:
1. Topless-ness is not grounds for imprisonment
2. If you have romantic inclinations, you can pursue without social stigma
3. Nobody has ever asked if I had a girl in the car to assure my safety late at night
4. Facial hair or no facial hair, it’s your choice
5. If you’re feeling lazy, you don’t have to read non-verbal communication, you’re not supposed to Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-905762952003-03-12T02:35:00.000-06:002008-08-01T09:27:06.850-05:00Was I an idealist last week, or was that supposed to start today? I can’t remember if it’s my week for over-analyzing everything and planning all my life’s details or simply sitting back and enjoying without thinking. Rob (High Fidelity) rearranged his record collection in order of purchase to make his life seem more complicated. I spend hours analyzing my past and future and comparing it withLesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-903929462003-03-09T02:14:00.000-06:002008-08-01T09:27:06.853-05:00Running low on sleep, I’m restless. Tonight C4 and I spoke of life, its meaning, the reality of God, the importance of belief, and what we want to accomplish. I’m in the middle of a self analysis, trying to figure out what it is I want to be. I realized tonight that I don’t excel at anything, that I enjoy such a broad range of things in life that in no area am I proficient, or really seeking Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-903498752003-03-08T04:03:00.000-06:002008-08-01T09:27:06.859-05:00Oh a raving I did go. I believe I’m about to die, every muscle in my body is about to give up and desert me. The quasi rave club experience was awesome, C4 gets mad kudos for ‘dragging’ me to it. Bonner also receives extra credit for an assist.
There are many fun things about raves, but you have to be there I guess. Watching the people who paid 15 to sit and watch, while in addition not Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-902899142003-03-07T01:54:00.000-06:002008-08-01T09:27:06.864-05:00What is going on here? I’m obviously trapped in some lame episode of Twilight Zone that amounted to a brain fart in Serling’s head and was never shot. There’s no way I posted yesterday (actually, by the time I finished this post, it wasn't yesterday, but still...), and this week is taking forever. I think time slows down as I approach next Thursday. Anticipation is sweet, but after a while itLesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-901649642003-03-05T02:04:00.000-06:002008-08-01T09:27:06.874-05:00This is just far too much for me. I’ve fallen in love again, and I think this time it’s serious. I’m totally infatuated, and for this moment, I can think of nothing besides the object of my desire, that which I want so desperately to consume entirely. It’s powerful, it’s Vermont Sharp White cheese, and it goes oh so well with a glass of chardonnay.
I know what you’re thinking, I’m a food Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-901083592003-03-04T06:22:00.000-06:002008-08-01T09:27:06.880-05:00Hello World
Okay, so at least my program due in less than a week involving multiple processes has begun. I got my Linux machine to say something, so I think I'm pretty much on top of things. Two tests today, not nearly enough sleep, but I've got these two words on my desktop screen to be happy about. Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-901003972003-03-04T01:37:00.000-06:002008-08-01T09:27:06.898-05:00
“Love of truth does not appear to be man’s primary motive, and, therefore, it is a long way to the truth from what one sees through the filter of the passions.”
-Love and Friendship, Allan Bloom
So what’s more important anyhow? I’m awfully impressed when you say you’ve read Kafka, Kant, and Kierkegaard, philosophy turns me on like a light switch. On the other hand, is intellect and logic Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-899455342003-03-01T01:55:00.000-06:002003-03-01T07:07:19.000-06:00random thoughts mixed into a creamy pudding of sarcastic goo
What’s next?
Are we on the same page?
Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Would life be so wonderful if I knew all the answers?
Eat, drink, tell yourself that your work is good.
What release, to sleep, to dream, peace.
Now wake. Go.
Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-898924322003-02-28T03:27:00.000-06:002003-02-28T03:27:31.200-06:00“Kind of like a pubescent volatility, some angst, a lot of I'm-sixteen-and-angry-at-my-father syndrome.” -The Rock
Cue up some punk
You’ve known me a year. I met you yesterday. You gave birth to me. So, you’ve figured me out have you? Great, for your next trick maybe you can explain me to me. You know who I want to date? That’s great, you’ve never met them and even I didn’t know what I Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-898358252003-02-27T07:27:00.000-06:002003-02-27T07:27:26.013-06:00Okay, first order of business. Once again I need to fight, so if you get this in time, rush over to my house and slam one in my gut. Better yet, surprise me. We’ll go get something to drink if it helps you, but I need to feel every hit. End the monotony.
Hold on. Can we start over? If I stay awake long enough, sleep even longer, can I wake up a new person? This semester was a new Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-897654472003-02-26T02:23:00.000-06:002003-02-26T02:48:24.000-06:00Today my happiness knows no bounds. First of all, I love dreary weather, and the dark and overcast afternoon has just been wonderful. Secondly, I adore the look of snow, and that’s exactly what we have. We got the industrial strength, plastic coated for durability version of the look of snow.
Last night, if you didn’t know, Dallas got a ton of sleet, and today’s high was 28, so it’s still Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-896632212003-02-24T14:36:00.000-06:002003-02-24T14:43:01.000-06:00Alcohol units: 4, cigs: 8 (v.b. but was birthday, still quitting)
Last night was about the best birthday I’ve ever had. I went to the Flying Saucer with Jake and his newfound friend Michaela, and due to regulations which we believed required us to smoke cigars in 20 degree weather, we smoked a pack of cigarettes. By the end of the evening we had discussed God, why girls are attracted to thoseLesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-895489462003-02-22T07:11:00.000-06:002003-02-22T07:10:24.000-06:00You know, it’s funny I should say, “I hate straining at things too big for me,” and then sit there speculating on what heaven without thought would be like. Oh well, just a post, just a part of my past.
Today already feels unreal, did I sleep night before last? Last night was great, if you enjoy watching the ceiling. The body seems to fight back with a mind of its own. “Oh really, so you Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-895397102003-02-22T00:14:00.000-06:002003-02-22T07:10:34.000-06:00
You know what’s truly wonderful, something that makes me want to keep living? Being able to take care of things. I love being asked a question I know the answer to, or know where to find it. I enjoy being asked, or even required to do something, knowing full well that I can do it. I may not be the best at it, it may be hard work, but I’m capable and competent. What ever happened to all of Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-894846802003-02-21T01:37:00.000-06:002003-02-21T19:15:35.000-06:00I sat in class tonight feeling like I was watching my life go to Hell right in front of me. We were talking about semaphores, and it hit me. Why should I care? I’m usually ashamed to even tell people what I do. We go out to parties, clubs, meeting people, and my roommate says he’s a pilot, girls swoon. Papa Luv, with every suave move I’ve ever known at his disposal makes being an engineer Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-894305822003-02-20T07:24:00.000-06:002003-02-20T07:25:30.000-06:00I just have to laugh to keep from hurting bad
their simple minds just cannot seem to understand
you are neurotic and depressed
it doesn't mean that you're sad . . .
I will never be normal like you.
Normal Like You, Everclear
A warning to those with tongues pierced. Don’t play with the piece too much, I just discovered a very small groove being worn between two of my bottom teeth. Imagine thatLesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-893859322003-02-19T14:38:00.000-06:002003-02-19T14:38:45.586-06:00There’s something nice about waking up, like being born again. Doubts and frustrations of the day before seem to have lost their power. I hate losing so many hours to just lying around watching mindless entertainment, but that’s what sleeping amounts to for me. Last night I was transporting weapons for some sort of militia, car chases and shootouts involved. Television and movie makers have Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-893568452003-02-19T00:03:00.000-06:002003-02-19T14:37:47.000-06:00
Okay, I’ll try to remain brief tonight. I’m so low on sleep I nearly ran off the road several times on my way to and from Arlington today, so I suppose my writing will veer similarly without careful attention.
More wonderful things! Samoas, and bags of new pens. Now if you haven’t had a Samoa, I’m not recommending them any more than I’d recommend cigarettes, because you can’t quit either Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-892939242003-02-18T02:15:00.000-06:002003-02-18T02:15:14.320-06:00I don’t understand these, but they’re cool.
1. Getting blindsided isn’t always bad.
2. I do not grow tired of Louisiana Hot Sauce
3. Simple Pleasures, so good, so free
4. The fascination I have with blood
5. My love/hate relationship with Half Price Books
6. The dry feeling in your mouth that gets drier with each cup of coffee
7. The beautiful sinking feeling some songs give you every time you Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-891620542003-02-15T17:43:00.000-06:002003-02-15T17:43:50.196-06:00A little advice taken
Well, today once again I packed up my stuff and headed out to annoy the crap out of some alumni. I’m sorry to all of you out there, but I can’t afford not to. So it meant that today was time to write more. I’ve decided not to post this stuff right away as it’s confusing and would be taken entirely wrong by everyone I know. It’s interesting stuff, and at least it’s more Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-891347702003-02-15T01:50:00.000-06:002003-02-15T17:44:59.000-06:00
I’m in ecstasy here. It’s been a while since I’ve messed with MP3’s, so some things have changed, I’m getting my hands on some music I’ve wanted for some time, and it’s making my day. I just listened to The Perfect Drug by Nine Inch Nails. I’m using Winamp, and it automatically cross faded into Head Like A Hole (I’m giddy). Not only that, I just got my hands on a download of Something I CanLesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-891183132003-02-14T17:49:00.000-06:002003-02-14T17:49:57.716-06:00Is this life a mere circle?
Or am I the only one
Who sees turning, returning
I’m now back where I’d begun
So, this morning I woke up and received information that my student loans were not going to be awarded and then received a phone call from one of my credit card companies requiring payment I can’t afford. I became rather despondent regarding my financial situation, which is constantly Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-889904282003-02-12T14:31:00.000-06:002003-02-12T14:31:05.000-06:00"I am not worried, I am not overly concerned
With the status of my emotions 'Oh', She says, 'You're changing.'
But we're always changing"
- Anna Begins, Counting Crows
Ok God, I get the picture, and I’ll try this time
Really try, not to try anymore.
It’s not the way I’m used to doing things
But I’m used to doing things all wrong
It’s so much easier to just let go
When I don’t even know what Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-888972722003-02-11T00:06:00.000-06:002003-02-11T00:06:50.390-06:00Okay, this is out of hand once again. Monday nights are the bane of my existence, but only because they precede Tuesdays, my days of torment. Homework? Yeah, but I have to write a few things out of my system.
It was so thought provoking, reading his diary. One of my best friends growing up randomly sent me an email today. I responded and then he responded, I gave him my blog address, and Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-888329102003-02-09T22:43:00.000-06:002003-02-09T22:47:33.000-06:00
Heart Felt Confessions of a Hopeless Romantic
His world is filled with curtseys and bows
The ladies and gents dance all through the night
His armor shines brightly as the damsels he saves
From windmills and wicked men, unscrupulous knaves
But the maidens he sees are young women today
Their corsets and tea parties taken away
To where should this gentleman of yesteryear go?
What use is his Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-887846932003-02-08T22:51:00.000-06:002003-02-09T20:48:20.000-06:00Spannungbogen: The self imposed delay between the desire for a thing and the act of reaching out to grasp the thing.
- Dune, Frank Herbert
Okay, I’m ready to admit I need help. I have a problem. I’ve never felt so crazed with desire, and it has to stop, or somebody is going to get hurt. It consumes my mind completely, often for long periods of time, and to the detriment of other areas of my Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-887467842003-02-08T00:55:00.000-06:002003-02-08T22:52:21.000-06:00
“I want you to hit me as hard as you can.”
It’s been far too long so turn it loud
It’s something I need, my ears? Let ‘em bleed
Bang my head, turn it louder
Throw me into the crowd or
Let me drive, fast as Hell
And all will be well when I’m in the pit.
Let’s get crazy, let’s mosh.
Officer, let me explain. You see, my music was loud, now do you understand? It’s not speeding if your ears are Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-886907642003-02-06T23:42:00.000-06:002003-02-06T23:42:58.696-06:00
Well I made it. I slept for a good 20 minutes last night, and then another 40 minutes in my car before going to my second class. I think I did alright on my test, so I guess it was worth it. My problem now lies in the fact that UT Arlington is going to try to drop all of my classes tomorrow, again.
Since I didn’t take the TASP in high school, since I didn’t go to high school, they’re Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-886410022003-02-06T04:19:00.000-06:002003-02-06T23:48:37.000-06:00
It's like a bad movie
She is lookin' through me
If you were me, then you'd be
Screamin' "Someone shoot me!"
As I fail miserably,
Tryin' to get the girl all the bad guys want.
She's the girl all the bad guys want!
There she goes again
With fishnets on, and dreadlocks in her hair
She broke my heart, I wanna be sedated
All I wanted was to see her naked!
- Girl all the bad guys want, Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-884621262003-02-03T01:58:00.000-06:002003-02-03T01:58:25.183-06:00Good morning, just turned midnight. Today just plain sucked, with a few rays of hope coming through. I woke up, still sick, but not debilitated, so off to the best job I know of, telemarketing. I spent eight hours today trying to sell alumni directories, and nearly had to shoot myself in the head. I honestly have no idea how long I can continue to subject myself to this for money. If I end Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-884155392003-02-02T02:52:00.000-06:002003-02-02T03:02:26.000-06:00Feeling alone in a crowd of people.
I don’t want to stand apart, to remain aloof, yet I’m trapped.
Longing so deeply for something so simple, yet so out of reach.
How can I be a thousand things I never could?
What is it you see in me, and who am I to you?
Let me go, leave me be, but can you love me?
These words speak my feelings, did I hear them from you?
Can you see the small boy who hides Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-883693292003-02-01T01:52:00.000-06:002003-02-01T01:55:34.000-06:00Okay, so it’s Friday, and I suck. I'm up late doing nothing besides reading books and blogs. It’s not completely a wash yet, because I still have plans to go out later and play broom ball with my sister and the college group of a church I don’t attend. I think this still puts me at a LeTourneau level or worse for a Friday night. This situation, combined with the fact that I just applied for Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3968905.post-882502302003-01-29T22:56:00.000-06:002003-01-29T22:56:44.136-06:00It’s remarkable what a little sleep can do for you. I woke up a new person, and my life no longer felt so dreary and meaningless. Well, almost.
My dad comes in and wakes me up to start. I look up with my eyes in the smallest of slits to see him fiddling with the printer, which is the only one in the house. We have all the computers in the house networked, so he’s trying to print something Lesbohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491222081957313356noreply@blogger.com0