Nov 30, 2002

Today was as wonderful a day as I've had in a long time. I slept late after staying up until 6, and then went out to do some very light Christmas shopping. I bought some books for my older sister, and she bought some books for me. Oddly enough, among the cheap books we each picked out, we both got a copy of Bridget Jones?Diary. Scheduled gift giving still makes no sense to me, but tradition has value in and of itself sometimes.

I then got to spend a few hours of quiet reflection in my shrine of choice. It was the Barnes and Noble denomination, and my sister and I communed over cups of caramel macchiato and black coffee respectively. I read Dune in English, Don Quixote in Spanish, and wrote in a new journal. I currently have five journals or so since every time I’m in the mood to write down my thoughts, I can't find the previous one I was writing in. I've let too much time pass between entries, and I'm hoping to become more consistent this next semester. My sister and I talked about how glad we both were not to have children to raise or child support to pay. My sister is in med school, currently studying infectious diseases, and she explained to me a few hundred more reasons to be glad I've never slept with anyone. I also got to hear a Christmas song by Diana Krall over the speakers in Starbucks, a version of Christmas Time Is Here. Apparently she has an EP from 1998 with three songs which would cost me about 35 dollars. Perhaps I'll be up for it next year when I'm employed.

I'm back to my books now. I've spent about 20 hours reading blogs and surfing around thus far, and I think the remainder of my vacation activities needs to be rooted a little more firmly in the physical world. Please leave me a note if you've managed to survive this break with even a small amount of motivation to do anything school related. I personally have hit rock bottom in this department.

Nov 28, 2002

Thanksgiving break is here, and it comes not a day too soon. I now fail to see any purpose in any of my studies, and it has recently occurred to me that I have no real idea as to what I'd like to do with my life. My dream is to own a coffee shop and bookstore that is open 24 hours a day in a college town. I'd love to spend the rest of my life reading and talking with people. I can envision sitting around a table having debates while smoking cigars, sipping fine wine, coffee, or a good beer, whatever the occasion called for. This, however, is completely incongruous with both my current choice of major, as well as my current choice of school. For the past couple of weeks I've spent enormous amounts of time writing up pointless lab reports and struggling with a database program. These are indications of a life poorly spent. Strangely enough though, I've stayed fairly happy.

On a positive note, my friend C4 and I have recently put together a Go set, Go being an oriental game somewhat like a cross between chess and Othello. The game has many interesting connections with eastern philosophy and war strategy. We've spent many enjoyable hours playing this game at various local coffee shops, while at the same time discussing the finer things in life, and a lot of time talking about girls.

It has been said by many a young man that ladies are nearly impossible to understand. Several young ladies have stated that it is young men that are all but incomprehensible. I'd certainly agree that we both have our own beautiful, intricate complexities, but I believe the true confusion is restricted solely to our interaction with each other. Now I anticipate that there will be more than sufficient opportunities in the future for me to elaborate upon my views regarding this area of human interaction, so at this time I'll restrict the conversation to a discussion of intimacy.

It is important to understand that my views on men and women are based on the assumption that the primary reason we are compelled to find a mate is not for physical gratification, but rather a desire for intimacy, the private, personal knowledge of each other, shared by two people, and developed over an extended period of time. This is most obviously seen in marriage where two people pledge the rest of their lives to each other for that specific purpose.

My question then, from a young man's perspective, specifically one not currently contemplating marriage, is why not find another likeminded guy to spend your life with? You would have someone who knows you better than anyone else, your financial situation would be dramatically improved with two potentially high incomes, and there would be no child related expenditures. This eliminates any possibility of sexual relations, and most people would suspect the two of you were homosexual, both of which are below average consequences, but at the same time it would eliminate many of the miscommunications associated with the union of two very different types of people.

In my experience it seems that no friendship I've had with a young lady has ever reached the same point as my best friendships with guys. I feel that one of the reasons for this is that I have not found many young ladies who share my passion for philosophy, coffee, and the few other crucial elements that my life depends upon. I have, however, found many more guys that share my perspective on life, and have spent the majority of my spare time with them. On the other hand, there are many special things about the young ladies that I have been privileged to meet and become friends with, and in different ways, in different circumstances, perhaps those have and will lead to equally meaningful relationships.

If you bothered to read this whole post, thanks for your interest, I'll try to break my thoughts up in the future to facilitate an easier read.

Nov 25, 2002

As I continue to update this page's appearance, the content will continue to suffer. To tell the truth, I'm not entirely sure why I'm starting a blog page, though it seems like a good way to record thoughts I've become too busy/lazy to record in a journal. Until I can start the web page I hope to devote to philosophical discussion, my random thoughts will collect here, much like a stagnant pond collecting flies, or in this case the occasional reader.